We changed our morning routine and guess what? It enriched our marriage and made us feel more connected as a couple!
I have a confession. I was the mom that got so wrapped up in the business of day to day motherhood that I put my marriage last. And I didn’t even know I was doing it.
When I got married I promised myself and my husband that I would be attentive and prioritize our marriage daily. We need to do this to keep the foundation of our family strong.
So what happened?
Somehow I have this never ending list of things to do and never enough time to do it all. As a mother of both young toddlers and a teenager, I feel like the days are flying by and I can barely keep up sometimes. The laundry and cleaning is never-ending. Preparing and cleaning up several meals a day (did I mention toddlers and teenagers) leaves me feeling exhausted and drained at the end of each day.
I choose to leave my career to stay home with my kids and be the best mom and wife I could be. Instead, I felt like a shell of the person I was whose day was consumed with one household task after another.
As time went on I became short tempered with my husband and kids even though it wasn’t anything in particular they were doing. I felt resentful towards my husband because he was able to eat lunch by himself and go to the bathroom alone. I put our marriage at the end of the priority list because there were so many other things that demanded my immediate attention.
Something needed to change. Me.
This was not the family life I had envisioned, and I knew I was called to a more abundant life than this. I reflected on how my relationship with my husband could be better. I didn’t want to spend my days resenting my husband for going to work every day and working tirelessly for our family, only to come home to a grumpy wife.
My husband is the most patient, caring and sacrificing guy. He rarely asks for things for himself as he is busy serving our family from the moment he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. I missed feeling that we were connected and a team and I felt I was letting him down.
From that moment on I decided I needed a shift in my mindset. I needed to focus more on the mother and wife I was called to be and less on checking items off the daily check list.
Heart to Heart.
I sat down with my husband and communicated why I felt the way that I did. The truth was that somehow in the business of motherhood I had stopped investing in myself. I was so tired at the end of the day that instead of feeding my soul with good things, I turned on mindless tv shows and called that my “down time.”
I told myself that I needed that time to relax and regroup after a long day but the reality was I was letting overwhelm take over my days and my marriage. Along with some changes I needed to make in my personal routine, we committed to a new daily routine for our marriage.
New Morning Routine.
I took ownership of the things I needed to adjust in my daily routine, but my husband and I also discussed ways we could prioritize each other daily. It is important for us to commit to supporting each other daily in our different tasks but also keep our family goals a priority.
Today, every morning my husband and I sit down and take a few minutes together, intentionally, to do a few very important things.
- Write down one thing we are grateful for.
- Write down 3 goals and discuss them together (these can be family, work, business ect.).
- Read a Marriage Prayer of the Day (delivered daily via email from MarriagePrayer.today).
We write everything down individually in our separate notebooks, then discuss them together and read them out loud to each other. Not only are we intensionally setting the tone for our day, but we are verbalizing goals we have set for our family and as individuals.
Small Changes with Big Results.
This alone has made us feel more connected as we share what priorities we are focused on and goals we are working towards.
These small adjustments in our daily routine has made us feel much more connected as a couple and family. I cherish the time together and the small moments of togetherness in the chaos of busy mornings. Everyone is preparing to go there separate directions for the day and we start on a good note.
It might be obvious, but working on myself and my own goals personally has helped me show up to my marriage each day with anchored joy in my heart. And being intentional about our relationship everyday has helped us thrive as a couple.
Do it for yourself and your Marriage.
If you ever feel a disconnect with yourself or your spouse, take time to reflect on what you can do to build healthier habits. I replaced my TV time with personal development (reading, self care, exercising) and noticed a change in my attitude almost instantly!